If you want lessons on how to be a perfect parent, DON’T buy this book. Buy this book because on the most stressful days of parenthood you need a reminder on your coffee table, nightstand or both that perfection is impossible.
Perfect Parenting: A Complete History is the parenting book with the fewest words but most important lesson: You aren’t going to be a perfect parent.
This book has 134 pages but less than 1,500 total words because (Spoiler Alert) there is no history of perfect parenting. Nobody has ever had a perfect pregnancy. Nobody has ever had a perfect morning getting kids dressed and fed. Nobody has ever had a perfect family vacation. No parent in history has ever had a perfectly clean house, a perfect way of getting kids to listen or even one night of perfectly restful sleep.
It’s great to strive for perfection, but you can’t fall apart when parenthood falls short of perfection. It always does. The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is accept your humanity, embrace the absurdity of it all and love your kids. And if you struggle to remember these steps, consider getting this book as a reminder. At the very least, it will be the easiest book for you to finish reading this year.
Some of the book’s 40 empty chapters include:
- The Complete History of Perfect Pregnancies
- The Complete History of Perfect Poise During Unexpected Diaper Blowouts
- The Complete History of Perfect Meals Prepared for Kids (According to Kids)
- The Complete History of Perfect Nights of Sleep Enjoyed by Parents
- The Complete History of Perfectly Clean Homes Where Kids Have Lived
- The Complete History of Perfectly Anticipated Kid Illnesses (And Projectile Vomiting)
- The Complete History of Perfectly Calm Explanations of Why Leaving Blocks on the Floor Where They Can Be Stepped on Is Unacceptable
- The Complete History of Perfectly Cooperative Kids During Bath Time
- The Complete History of Perfectly Planned Bedtime Routines That Didn’t Go Awry
- The Complete History of Perfectly Appreciated Kid Birthday Parties
- The Complete History of Perfect Family Vacations
- The Complete History of Perfect Distributions of Anything to Siblings
- The Complete History of Perfect and Irreplaceable Things That Weren’t Broken When Kids Were Repeatedly Warned Not to Touch Them
- The Complete History of Perfectly Healthy Foods That Were Entirely Eaten by Kids
- The Complete History of Perfectly Effective Incentives to Get a Kid to Make Up Their Bed Every Day
- The Complete History of Perfectly Committed Kids to Brushing Their Teeth Without Being Told
- The Complete History of Perfectly Dressed Families on Time for Important Occasions
- The Complete History of Perfectly Clean Plates and Clothes That Weren’t Washed by a Parent or by a Kid Who Wasn’t Pressured to Do It
- The Complete History of Perfectly Fitting Kids Clothes That Remained Perfectly Fitting for More Than a Week
- The Complete History of Perfectly Crumb-Free Kid Bedrooms, Bathrooms and Toy Boxes
Amazon rank: #859,077
bound: 134 pages
Publisher: Avamerolton Publishing (April 24, 2017)
Weight: 7.5 ounces
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